B.M.S

 

 

A few days ago, I sat in line at a barber shop waiting for my turn to trim one or two loose ends. Across from where I sat, a kid, about 3 years old, was seated on top of a counter, playing with his dad. Bored and tired from the long day’s work, I watched half focused on their little peek-a-boos and the wildly incoherent tête-à-tête. The dad’s phone rang, he looked at the ID and turned to the kid and said in Swahili: “Do not move, you will fall, I am coming.” I looked around for any reactions, NONE!! Good, we were all brought up Kenyan. The kid sat put, fiddling around with a set of keys he had with him. In my head…*drum roll, little imps with fireworks waiting, a huge countdown timer clock ticking away*…..

Pinocchio over there toppled off the counter, Gangnam Style(I really should stop using this). Ladies in half burnt (or whatever you do with your hair) hair dos, rollers and all salon memorabilia collide rushing to pick the kid (too mainstream, so we, the men lay back watching, making dad noises).

Funny thing is, the kid beats them to it, jostling about until he is back up on the self-made throne of his, only to realize he left the set of keys on the floor. So he leans forward, looks at them and settles back, as if satisfied with the journey he had taken. Everyone is busy laughing and marveling at the unmoved young boy, when his dad walks back in, assume the room shared a common joke, picks up the keys and Daddy Day Care goes on, almost as if nothing ever happened.

What this kid does is avert an ‘I told you’ situation with his dad, and possibly a whooping. The kid puts aside the pain of the fall, the scare, the trauma, the hustle of sitting on the counter with his play keys out of reach. He puts his feelings aside, to focus on what someone else has to say about his little mishap. Fear, you may say. You could also say the little boy understands the father will not be very happy with his actions and the resulting consequences. That’s where my point lies: FEELINGS.

This kid’s intention is severe in later years, for a few people though. These are the people who would take bullets for strangers, people who will stand waist deep in your crap and still hand you flowers while at it. Statistically (this is how geniuses on TV begin their points, sounds very official), one in every five people are from a family where one (or both) of the guardians, is quite the public icon but has a family life so messed up that Prezzo’s ex-girlfriend would be an activist in that world(too soon?) Well, that statistic is; I made it up. This “Bruno Mars Syndrome (BMS)” to many can be perceived as a trait of the gentleman. And it is. But in its severe cases, it is damaging to both the carrier and the people around them. Putting your needs first once in a while isn’t selfish; it’s “doing you”. Some people will dwell in using the BMSers to their wicked advantage, and will drag them through hell and later send them post cards from heaven.

I am a BMS afflicted moron and it cannot change. But in time, and with help, I have learnt that being “that guy” for everyone will not take me to heaven. It’ll take me through hell, literally. So I pledge to be that guy where it matters, where the other guy is ready to be that guy for me too.